I lost my wedding ring.
I feel sick to my stomach when I touch that empty place on my finger. I want to go and hide under the covers. I want to pretend it didn’t happen.
What does this mean about me? What does this mean about my commitment to my marriage? I am not going to the happy place right now.
I have excuses,
I was jet lagged.
My brain wasn’t working correctly.
My finger was swollen.
I’m not organized.
All of these excuses lead to thoughts that make me feel terrible.
I should have planned better.
I didn’t take good care of myself.
I didn’t eat correctly.
I don’t run my life responsibly.
All different versions of “I screwed up and shouldn’t have. I should be different somehow.”
And then murmuring voice…”You don’t value your marriage enough to hang on to the ring…”
That one woke me up. It’s a bald faced lie. I value my husband and marriage over most everything (except you, kids.)
Maybe this means I lost my ring. Maybe this is all rigged to let me know that I am not my thoughts. Maybe it’s all OK.
Whew. So, I’m just sad? Not a failure? Yes, honey. This is the 50% of the human experience that doesn’t feel so good.
Two weeks later?
Peek a boo…..
𝑆𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑟𝑎 𝑃ℎ𝑒𝑛𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝐶𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑓𝑖𝑒𝑑 𝐿𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑊𝑒𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑎𝑐ℎ. 𝑆ℎ𝑒’𝑠 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒 50 𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑠….𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑦. 𝑁𝑜 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑑𝑟𝑎𝑚𝑎. 𝑁𝑜 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑔𝑔𝑙𝑒.