
I lost my wedding ring.
I feel sick to my stomach when I touch that empty place on my finger. I want to go and hide under the covers. I want to pretend it didnβt happen.
What does this mean about me? What does this mean about my commitment to my marriage? I am not going to the happy place right now.
I have excuses,
I was jet lagged.
My brain wasnβt working correctly.
My finger was swollen.
Iβm not organized.
All of these excuses lead to thoughts that make me feel terrible.
I should have planned better.
I didnβt take good care of myself.
I didnβt eat correctly.
I donβt run my life responsibly.
All different versions of βI screwed up and shouldnβt have. I should be different somehow.β
And then murmuring voiceβ¦βYou donβt value your marriage enough to hang on to the ringβ¦β
That one woke me up. Itβs a bald faced lie. I value my husband and marriage over most everything (except you, kids.)
Maybe this means I lost my ring. Maybe this is all rigged to let me know that I am not my thoughts. Maybe itβs all OK.
Whew. So, Iβm just sad? Not a failure? Yes, honey. This is the 50% of the human experience that doesnβt feel so good.
Two weeks later?
Peek a booβ¦..
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