𝑰 π‘¨π’Ž 𝒂 𝑺𝒖𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒔𝒔!

I did not finish my list today.

I did not eat on my protocol today.

I did not get out and hike today, like I had planned.

I did not write this blog at 6:00 this morning, as scheduled.

Yet, I am a success. This is not where my mind went initially. I indulged in my habitual criticism, judgement, beating on (my)self, what I now call BS. I noticed all this. I noticed how awful it felt. I noticed I wanted to eat that cookie dough ice cream.

Why? I’m confused because ice cream isn’t my go-to, not my habit anymore. What was the ice cream going to do for me?

Make me feel good. Give me a hit a dopamine that I thought I needed. Because I didn’t feel good.

Yet, I now know not feeling good is something I produce with my thoughts, my attitude, my beliefs.

Feeling better is wholly within my power. I remember, then see it is my idea that I SHOULD finish my list that feels awful. That I π‘ β„Žπ‘œπ‘’π‘™π‘‘’𝑣𝑒 eaten on protocol. That I π‘ β„Žπ‘œπ‘’π‘™π‘‘’𝑣𝑒 hiked. And written this blog earlier.

And then I just decide that my life is perfect. I decide that I don’t want to fight with the past any more.

I decide I am a success. Not in the future, when I do all my β€œshould’s”. But right now. Right here.

Lucky me.

π‘†π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘π‘Ÿπ‘Ž π‘ƒβ„Žπ‘’π‘›π‘›π‘–π‘›π‘” 𝑖𝑠 π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ πΏπ‘’π‘Žπ‘‘ π΄π‘ π‘ π‘œπ‘π‘–π‘Žπ‘‘π‘’ π‘Žπ‘‘ π‘‡β„Žπ‘’ π»π‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘‘π‘€π‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘†π‘‘π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘’: π‘‡π‘œπ‘œπ‘™π‘  π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ 𝐴𝑛 π΄π‘šπ‘Žπ‘§π‘–π‘›π‘” 𝐿𝑖𝑓𝑒, π‘Ž πΆπ‘’π‘Ÿπ‘‘π‘–π‘“π‘–π‘’π‘‘ 𝐿𝑖𝑓𝑒 π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ π‘Šπ‘’π‘–π‘”β„Žπ‘‘ πΆπ‘œπ‘Žπ‘β„Ž. π‘†β„Žπ‘’β€™π‘  π‘π‘Žπ‘ π‘ π‘–π‘œπ‘›π‘Žπ‘‘π‘’ π‘Žπ‘π‘œπ‘’π‘‘ π‘‘π‘’π‘Žπ‘β„Žπ‘–π‘›π‘” π‘€π‘œπ‘šπ‘’π‘› π‘‘π‘œ π‘™π‘œπ‘ π‘’ 50 π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘šπ‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘π‘œπ‘’π‘›π‘‘π‘ β€¦.π‘π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘šπ‘Žπ‘›π‘’π‘›π‘‘π‘™π‘¦. π‘π‘œ π‘šπ‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘“π‘œπ‘œπ‘‘ π‘‘π‘Ÿπ‘Žπ‘šπ‘Ž. π‘π‘œ π‘šπ‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘ π‘‘π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘”π‘”π‘™π‘’.