
I did not finish my list today.
I did not eat on my protocol today.
I did not get out and hike today, like I had planned.
I did not write this blog at 6:00 this morning, as scheduled.
Yet, I am a success. This is not where my mind went initially. I indulged in my habitual criticism, judgement, beating on (my)self, what I now call BS. I noticed all this. I noticed how awful it felt. I noticed I wanted to eat that cookie dough ice cream.
Why? Iβm confused because ice cream isnβt my go-to, not my habit anymore. What was the ice cream going to do for me?
Make me feel good. Give me a hit a dopamine that I thought I needed. Because I didnβt feel good.
Yet, I now know not feeling good is something I produce with my thoughts, my attitude, my beliefs.
Feeling better is wholly within my power. I remember, then see it is my idea that I SHOULD finish my list that feels awful. That I π βππ’ππ’π£π eaten on protocol. That I π βππ’ππ’π£π hiked. And written this blog earlier.
And then I just decide that my life is perfect. I decide that I donβt want to fight with the past any more.
I decide I am a success. Not in the future, when I do all my βshouldβsβ. But right now. Right here.
Lucky me.
ππππππ πβππππππ ππ π πΆπππ‘πππππ πΏπππ πππ ππππβπ‘ πΆπππβ. πβπβπ πππ π πππππ‘π ππππ’π‘ π‘πππβπππ π€ππππ π‘π πππ π 50 ππ ππππ πππ’πππ β¦.πππππππππ‘ππ¦. ππ ππππ ππππ πππππ. ππ ππππ π π‘ππ’ππππ.