π‘«π’π’…π’ˆπ’†π’ƒπ’‚π’π’

β€œAnyone can say no.”

He truly believes that. He thinks the small, shy kids can figure out a path to β€œNo.” Surely getting slammed by a ball thrown by a large, bold kid will lead him there. He has never been a small shy kid. He has never experienced anything different.

How do I explain to him that I was that kid who couldn’t say “No”? How do I get over feeling broken because I can’t/couldn’t say “No”? Even him saying β€œAnyone can say no,” brought back those feelings of helplessness.

So much shame.

Sometimes I am still not aware that “No” is an option. When I’m eating those chips, as I make dinner, my brain refuses to even entertain “No.” This is my lizard brain’s super power, what’s kept me alive, what’s kept humans alive for millennia.

Maybe I don’t want to “just” be alive now. Maybe I want to evolve, to thrive. What then?

Observe. Be curious. Learn. Start to employ my big, beautiful brain to plan a for a brighter future. See my lizard brain for what it is; a primitive force trying to save me. Maybe I can view shame as a desire to be a better person, a tool to learn to have my own back more often, to believe in my dreams.

This is the work I do now. For myself. For my clients. Essential.

π‘†π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘π‘Ÿπ‘Ž π‘ƒβ„Žπ‘’π‘›π‘›π‘–π‘›π‘” 𝑖𝑠 π‘Ž πΆπ‘’π‘Ÿπ‘‘π‘–π‘“π‘–π‘’π‘‘ 𝐿𝑖𝑓𝑒 π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ π‘Šπ‘’π‘–π‘”β„Žπ‘‘ πΆπ‘œπ‘Žπ‘β„Ž. π‘†β„Žπ‘’β€™π‘  π‘π‘Žπ‘ π‘ π‘–π‘œπ‘›π‘Žπ‘‘π‘’ π‘Žπ‘π‘œπ‘’π‘‘ π‘‘π‘’π‘Žπ‘β„Žπ‘–π‘›π‘” π‘€π‘œπ‘šπ‘’π‘› π‘‘π‘œ π‘™π‘œπ‘ π‘’ 50 π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘šπ‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘π‘œπ‘’π‘›π‘‘π‘ β€¦.π‘π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘šπ‘Žπ‘›π‘’π‘›π‘‘π‘™π‘¦. π‘π‘œ π‘šπ‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘“π‘œπ‘œπ‘‘ π‘‘π‘Ÿπ‘Žπ‘šπ‘Ž. π‘π‘œ π‘šπ‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘ π‘‘π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘”π‘”π‘™π‘’.